lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
