The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize