all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
