You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
