the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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