Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
