I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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