Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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