We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
