The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
