I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
