you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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