Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I need moral support for this bender
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
