dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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