the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
