Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
