Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
