Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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