apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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