can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is it penis luge time yet?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
