and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You took a bar mat shot.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
