I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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