Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize