Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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