Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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