on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
