4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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