I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you never un-have a 4some
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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