And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
