I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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