she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize