Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
