i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
