your thong is hanging out like whoa
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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