What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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