If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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