i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
