If i come over, it means nothing
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
