i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
