I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
