You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
