dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
