I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
