I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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