he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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