i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The power of my boobs compel you
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
