Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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