i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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