I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
