She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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