Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
