morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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