He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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