Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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