already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
