I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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