So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
