So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
