did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
