Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
