I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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